High School Crush (a short story)

High School Crush

(a short story)

 

My name is Rebecca, and I have a secret crush.

Shaun and I have lived in the same neighborhood and ridden the same bus since first grade. I didn't like him in the elementary school years. He used to pull my hair and tease me. I hated how everyone would laugh at me because of how he would mock me.

In junior high, he stopped bothering me. I guess he got bored with me because he hardly paid me any attention at all anymore, which suited me just fine. I much preferred being able to sit in the back of the bus and chat with my girlfriends all the way home without being pestered.

And now that we're in high school, Shaun has completely changed. His shoulders are wider, his voice is deeper, and there's the faintest hint of facial hair beginning to appear on his chin. And his eyes... dark grey until the light hits them just right and reveals that they're a multicolored hazel. He's handsome actually, and no longer the little jerk who used to ruin my day. I find him attractive now. And my realization of that has caught me a little off guard.

Shaun sits next to me in first hour history class. He usually makes it just barely on time before the tardy bell rings. And every time Mr. Porter asks for his reason, he always has a funny sarcastic response that makes everyone chuckle, even Mr. Porter. 

His excuses were things like:

"My dog ate my homework."

"My alarm clock betrayed me."

"I'm allergic to mornings."

"I couldn't find the right shoes to match my man bag."

I am loving his sense of humor. The sad thing is, except for the occasional joke, he doesn't really say much to anyone. He sits alone in cafeteria before school and also at lunch. I know, because I've looked for him. I, on the other hand, am never alone. I play the flute in the school band, and we band nerds tend to stick together. I've been tempted many times to go sit by Shaun, but I always seem to have a friend or two with me. It's hard to find an opportunity when I would be by myself.

And what would happen if I did go talk to him? Suppose I told him how I felt. What would he do? Would he be excited and immediately ask me to be his girlfriend? Would I scare him away? Or what if, heaven forbid, he go around the whole school telling everyone what an idiot I am for ever thinking he would be caught dead associating with me? I'd be the laughing stock for the rest of my high school career. And then who would want to go out with me then?

#

I sat in the front on the bus ride home today. When Shaun stepped on, I glanced at him but tried not to stare. But in that moment, our eyes met and my heart gave a flutter. Then he turned his gaze and walked past me as always to go sit towards the back by himself.

My mind raced with indecision. This could be my chance. Neither of us has anyone else we want to sit by today. I wanted him to know I liked him. Oh, but what if he doesn't like me? My heart thrummed in my chest. What if he makes fun of me? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I haven't seen Shaun pick on anyone in years. If anything, he's grown quiet and rather nice. 

Before I knew what I was doing, I was up and walking towards the back. I stopped in front of him. His back pack was in the seat next to him, leaving no room for anyone to sit. Maybe he would rather be alone? Too late to turn back now. He looked up at me with a quizzical expression.

"Um... Hi Shaun," I said.

"Hey," he replied.

"I... wanted to ask you something. Is it okay if I sit next to you?"

Shaun looked at his backpack and hesitated for a moment, but then he pulled it into his lap reluctantly. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, I thought. I was shaking with nerves as I sat down next to him.

"What's up?" he said, unsmiling. 

Oh boy, here it goes, I thought as the bus started to move.

"Well, I was wanting to tell you... but I wanted to catch you at a time when no one else around because I would never try to embarrass him, I mean you. I would never try to embarrass you. And um..."

I was horrified as the words tumbled out of my mouth. I was so nervous that I could not even make coherent sentences. Shaun was also looking increasingly uncomfortable. Everything about his expression and body language was shouting for me to go away. This was not good. I was sabotaging everything. Maybe I really am an idiot.

"...what I'm trying to say," I continue. "Is that I... like you. Whew. Okay. There, I said it."

Shaun looked horrified. 

Oh crap. I failed. I am an epic failure. I would never live this down. Stupid, stupid. What was I even doing here?

"Why?" he said incredulous.

What do I say now? I've already lost him. Not only was I up crap reek without a paddle, I didn't even have a raft. I was swimming in it now. My crush thinks I'm a loser... because that's exactly what I am.

I took a deep breath and figured I might as well go ahead and finish drowning myself in this mud hole I leaped into.

"Well," I said, "I think you're cute, and you've got a quick wit and a good sense of humor. I've known you for years, and yet I don't know much about you. But I think I would like to... know you better, that is."

He stared at me for a moment looking like a deer in the headlights. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I waited for him to openly reject me and bring my social life to a complete and utter humiliating ruin. 

But then the corners of his mouth turned up a little.

"Okay," he said. "What... you want to like.. hang out or something?"

"Um... yeah. I mean, if you want to."

"Sure," he said, shrugging.

What did that mean? It wasn't an outright rejection, so that was a relief. Did that mean he liked me? Or was he just willing to tolerate me? Ugh, his response is so confusing! 

The bus bumped along and turned into our neighborhood.

"So..." he said with a half grin. "You... like me? Really?"

"Yes," I replied. "Is.. that okay?"

"Well it just... no girl has ever told me that before. I didn't know what to say."

We were both silent for several minutes. The bus was coming up on his stop. 

"Do you think I could call you sometime?" he asked.

"Um yeah, that'd be great." I said, my heart surging with relief.

We exchanged phone numbers before he got off the bus. I stared down at the piece of paper in my hands where he had written his number down. He drew hearts instead of zeroes. My cheeks flushed and I smiled so big that it almost hurt. I could not believe I was holding Shaun's phone number in my hands.

As terrifying as it was, I was so glad I had taken the chance. But it was still one of the scariest things I had ever done. 

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If you enjoyed this story, please also check out my full length sci-fi novel, Legend of Sylphar, the Silver Queen, currently available in serial format on Kindle Vella. Kindle Vella is the perfect reading platform for busy people. Stories are delivered in bite sized "episodes" instead of long chapters. You just log in, check up on your favorite stories, and be about your day.

But if traditional novel format is more your style, stay tuned. I plan to release Legend of Sylphar the Silver Queen as a hard copy in 2022!